Mapping Your Route on the Adoption Assistance Negotiationland Crazy Train

Consulting Columbo

Note: For more detailed information and documentation, click on the links underlined in the text.

One of the fun things about taking the Negotiation Crazy Train through Adoption Assistance Negotiationland is you never know the route. It is always an adventure, full of surprises. Let me show you what I mean.

You receive a proposal from the agency for a monthly IV-E Adoption Assistance payment that is half your child’s foster care maintenance payments.  Not surprising, you believe that the proposal does not accurately reflect your child’s needs and/or your family circumstances.  What do you do?  Remember, there are no guaranteed maps across Negotiationland.  You have to map your journey based on your growing knowledge of the terrain.  (I know I’m straining the metaphor, but I’m kinda stuck with it).

Did you ever Columbo, the TV show about the L. A. detective who asked naïve questions and appeared to be hopelessly confused by the answers?  You might take a somewhat innocently naïve “Columbo”  approach to the agency’s proposal.  For example, you could reiterate your commitment to reaching an adoption assistance agreement that will enable your child’s successful integration into your family, or words to that effect.  Something like,

We really to keep the discussion going because we are both working toward the same goal, a permanent family for ____.    But, we are a little confused about the agency’s proposed adoption assistance agreement.  In order to make sure we are on the same page, we want to share our basic understanding of adoption assistance with you.  You can let us know what you think. We hope this will make for a productive dialogue going forward.

As we understand it,

 a.  Adoption assistance is a supplement to be combined with the parent’s resources. 

b.   As a supplement, adoption assistance is intended to become a part of the adoptive family’s overall budget for incorporating and sustaining a child in a healthy permanent family.

c.   Incorporating and sustaining a child in a permanent family includes the challenge of meeting “ordinary and special needs” and “anticipated” as well as current needs.  The family’s overall circumstances affect the parents’ capacity to provide a permanent family.  Negotiation must consider the child’s ordinary and special needs as well as family circumstances  because they all pertain to establishing a permanent adoptive family.   

 d.   Adoption assistance is not intended to cover specified categories of expenses like other federal and state defined benefit programs.  Adoption assistance has a broader purpose.  What kind of supplemental support will enable you, to provide a family for this special needs child?  Addressing this question obviously includes consideration of the child’s ordinary daily needs.

Questions

Do you agree with our understanding of federal and state adoption assistance policy listed above?  Please tell as about any areas of disagreement.

What are the agency’s reasons for proposing adoption assistance that is less than half of the children’s foster care maintenance payments?  The children’s needs and our family circumstances will not suddenly change on the day the adoption is finalized.  We have looked forward to the day we become ___’s forever legal parents, but we have had full responsibility for their care for __years. We are confused about this. We look forward to your response.

Save your “Columbo-style” message and the agency’s response to it..  They can serve as documentation of the parties’ negotiation efforts at a future mediation, hearing, or complaint to the Ohio Family Ombudsmen Office should the need arise.